Finding Opportunities
by everlovin
Summary: A Teyla Jenn friendship fic. Jenn needs advice about Ronon. Takes place late S4. I'm hoping to actually add some Ronon/Jenn stuff at some undetermined point in the future.


Finding Opportunities

Disclaimer - I still don't own SGA. Christmas? Once I take over the world? Maybe then.

Paining - Ronon/Jenn

Rating - K

Summary - A friendship piece between Teyla and Jenn. Jenn needs advice about Ronon. Maybe we'll get to more sometime in the future.

Teyla was just getting ready to leave the infirmary. Jenn assured her both she and the baby were well. Jenn couldn't seem to find a way to transition between Doctor Keller: professional and Jenn Keller: younger woman in need of advice. Once again she felt the pain of her mother's loss. There were so many things other women her age seemed to just 'know' how to do and she didn't.

"Teyla,: her voice sounded uncertain and hesitant and she damned herself for that. "I. . . I was wondering if we could have lunch. I need some perspective." Jenn couldn't help but fidget in front of Teyla. Teyla was the epitome of regal grace. It was hard not to feel gauche.

"I am on my way to the mess hall. I would be pleased if you would join me," Teyla smiled.

"Let me tell Dr. Neeves I'm taking lunch."

Teyla led them to a secluded table on the balcony outside the mess. Jenn was grateful for the bit of privacy. "I know how people talk, and I know you are a private person." Teyla seemed to read minds now. Or maybe, Jenn was just that transparent.

"How's the search for your people going?" Now that Jenn was here, she still wasn't sure how to bring up her questions. Besides, she saw the devastation in Teyla first hand. She saw echoes of that same haunted look frequently in the other woman's eyes.

"Ronon has his contacts on Manaria out following a lead. I do not know if it will come to anything." Teyla looked out to the horizon. "It is difficult not being active in the search. I was responsible for guiding and protecting them so long, it feels as if I am missing part of myself."

Jenn's heart went out to the older woman. "There is hope, Teyla. I know it's hard to hold on to it, but that's why you have friends. Colonel Sheppard, Ronon, Rodney, me. We'll all remind you of that."

Teyla gave her a sad, grateful smile.

"What is it you wished to speak of?"

Jenn knew it was coming up, she still didn't know exactly how to ask. Well, in for a penny. . . "What's the deal with Ronon?"

Teyla's smile widened in amusement. "What precisely do you mean?"

"Is he safe to love? I've never met anyone like him. On Earth, men like him are movie stars, professional athletes, things like that. And they generally don't have a good reputation as far as relationships go." Jenn rushed out her biggest fear.

Teyla waited a moment. It was too important to both of her friends to miss any part of this. "Has he ever mentioned Melena?"

Jenn nodded. "We spoke quite a bit about her. He loved her. I can hear it when he talked about her."

"What does that tell you?"

Jenn blew at her bangs. She looked out at the ocean for a long moment weighing this new perspective. "It tells me that he is willing to love someone and try to make that relationship last."

Teyla watched her young friend as she absorbed that. The change from hesitant to determined was telling. "What else do you wish to know?"

"Does he still love her?" Maybe not being enough for Ronon wasn't her biggest fear. Maybe it was competing with a woman dead for ten years. "For months, he's been giving me these looks like I'm the best flavor of ice cream ever - and I know I'm sending the same looks his way. And then we were locked together in the infirmary." Jenn looked out to the horizon and back in time. "Teyla, we talked about all sorts of things. And right at the end, we had a moment. . . but then the lights blinked and the doors opened. And he hasn't even hinted that he wants to talk to me since." Jenn slouched back in her seat.

"I do not believe he still loves her, but neither was he truly able to mourn her until recently." At Jenn's confused look Teyla clarified. "He spent those years as a runner merely surviving. When he finally came to Atlantis and found out about Sateda, he closed himself off completely."

"What do you mean?"

"I watched him that day. It was as if a door closed. His face held no emotion. No anger, no grief, no resignation, no denial. He closed himself off and allowed no one to see what he thought or felt."

Jenn took a moment to try and picture Ronon closed off like that and it just didn't track. He might not speak often, but his face was always alive and his emotions always were written there. "I just can't see it."

"How else could he react? Before he knew how complete the devastation was, he could hope his people survived."

Jenn was tarting to see more of the picture.

"I believe he spent that first year mourning Sateda."

"And meeting up with Tyre and the others has made him think of it all over again," Jenn added.

"More like they took away the ideal of Sateda." Jenn nodded in affirmation. "When the wraith captured him again, I believe he had to relive more personal memories. John and I found him in an infirmary ward. It wasn't one at all near the city barracks. We checked there first thinking he'd scavenge weapons from there."

"Melena," Jenn murmured.

"I do not know if he is hesitant to move forward with you because he has lost so much, or if it somehow reminds him of Melena," Teyla offered.

Jenn spent a few minutes thinking about everything. "Makes as much sense as anything I've come up with."

"Do you want my advice?"

Jenn nodded.

"He is interested. Do what I could not and let him know you are interested as well."

That took Jenn aback for a second. "You were interested in Ronon at one time?"

Teyla smiled wistfully. "No. There was another, but we never made it."

Jenn breathed a bit easier. She didn't want to be a source of pain for her friend. She thought about the idea of flirting with Ronon. And in every scenario she came up with, she came across as corny and awkward as she knew she was. How was she supposed to let him know she was interested? "I still have a problem then. I have no idea what to do." Jenn was crestfallen again.

"Come have dinner with the team. We will find opportunities." Teyla offered with a hint of a wicked grin.

A/N - For Intentions Day. Wrong ep, I know, but I work with what I've got. Reviews are like spumoni ice cream. Extra sweet!


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